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Temptation

Air grows thinner, the higher we are held.
Granite pedestal grows beneath our feet.
Loneliness creeps into my veins,
as peers become less abundant.
I can remember the first step
on that first day.
There were so many of us;
we could barly fit on the platform.
Meeting for the first time
as our parents lifted us on.
Five years old,
the first day of the ascension.

Years passed,
the platform grew higher;
growing from the base, pushing us upward.
We became different during this stage;
forming groups,
switching groups,
but still together.
Still parts of an unbroken whole.

Eight years on that platform,
Time held us together.
It's ironic that our happiest moment together
happened to be our last.
Temptation,
ended our integrity,
our true power in numbers was ever diminished.
People began to jump from the platform;
some struck the floor,
upon impact their heads opened,
and something drained out,
the promise and potential drained out,
wasted youth.

Higher we climbed,
with most of us gone, there was so much room for the rest to shine.
We stood out, the platform rising ever higher,
seemingly growing quicker,
feeding on the remains of wasted
The height seemed to scare some of the remaining,
upon jumping, they met the same fate as the previous,
draining fermented youth,
so much more potent to the growth of the pedestal.

Today I looked around,
saw the remains of a once strong group.
I cast my eyes down to look at them,
seeing shadows of them,
their once great selves.
Sometimes I see a glimmer of someone they haven't been for a while,
a glittering insight,
or a confident look.
It brings them back to the platform with me,
loneliness leaves me,
then they are gone.
They indulge again.
This is about the people I have grown up with, and how temptations, like drinking, smoking, doing drugs and other things, has torn us apart as a group, leaving some of us are alone
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:iconakatsuki12980:
akatsuki12980 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2008
wow! truely moving!
Reply
:iconshizoki-hehe:
Shizoki-hehe Featured By Owner Mar 19, 2008   Writer
wow, i can totally relate too this. Its soo sad too, seeing them turn to drugs, or just make wrong decisions that will hurt them in the long run. mI think i have two friends from my original group left, and its so hard too make new ones...and it really shouldn't be. Great work =)
Reply
:iconheavensmorbidangel:
HeavensMorbidAngel Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2005  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wonderful.
Can't really relate to it.
Military brats don't keep long life friends.
But I can understand the focus of the poem.
Reply
:iconheavensmorbidangel:
HeavensMorbidAngel Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2005  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wonderful.
Can't really relate to it.
Military brats don't keep long life friends.
But I can understand the focus of the poem.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2005   Writer
Thanks for understanding, and commenting! :)
Reply
:iconheavensmorbidangel:
HeavensMorbidAngel Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2005  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No problem.
I like your stuff!
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2005   Writer
:)
Reply
:iconcandiice:
candiice Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2005   Interface Designer
Holy cow can I ever relate to this! I think all teens can. I only have 1 person left from my old group...
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2005   Writer
I dont think I have anyone! :)
Reply
:iconpinksugar:
PinkSugar Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2005
I agree that temptation is the many source of "brokeness".Umm..my english sucks lol
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2005   Writer
Thanks for your comment
Reply
:iconpinksugar:
PinkSugar Featured By Owner Aug 7, 2005
np
Reply
:iconmoonlitshadow:
MoonlitShadow Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2005
fantastic. i don't think i read it the first time it was posted. i'm sorry i missed it.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2005   Writer
:) Thats cool. As long as you enjoyed it! :):)
Reply
:iconmoonlitshadow:
MoonlitShadow Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2005
yeah, i really did.
Reply
:iconredfadetoblack:
RedFadeToBlack Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2004   Photographer
Oh...I read several of your poems, and this was my favorite of the ones I read. I guess I could just relate to it, knowing so many who have fallen from the platform. And whenever I start to wobble and lose my balance, or think of jumping off, I just think of them, and their lifestyle is enough to make me hang on. Thanks for a thought provoking poem. I liked it alot.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2004   Writer
Thanks so much, I am really glad it touched you.
Reply
:iconhyperat1:
hyperat1 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2004
oOo LIKe
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2004   Writer
Thanks so much! Glad you liked!

Greg
Reply
:iconhyperat1:
hyperat1 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2004
:)
Reply
:iconforgotten-fate:
forgotten-fate Featured By Owner May 14, 2004
this is freaking awesome!!! i love the depth in it, you write with such experience and knowledge and this is definitely one of my favorites. :) :+fav:
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner May 14, 2004   Writer
Thanks so much, Im glad you liked it!
Reply
:icontranquil-sky:
tranquil-sky Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2004
Very very great symbolism that you used in this piece. You made it so that everyone, in their own way, can relate to this. Only talented writers are able to do that. Great job!!
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2004   Writer
Thanks so much! I am very glad that you were able to relate to this piece, thanks again!
Reply
:icontranquil-sky:
tranquil-sky Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2004
No problem!! I think anyone could relate to this piece...it's excellent.
Reply
:iconjaguar02:
Jaguar02 Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2004   Writer
beautiful in a sad sort of way hehe...

I like the way you spoke of the platform raising...it pulls in the idea of increased stress and bigger goals.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Apr 9, 2004   Writer
Thanks so much! Your opinions are so kind
Reply
:iconporcelainpoet:
PorcelainPoet Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2004
Very vivid. I really like the symbolism you used with the platform idea. You have some very good talent. Far better than my own. Wonderful writing.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2004   Writer
No way! You are awesome!
Reply
:icondeasa:
Deasa Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004
Nice poem as I see alot think so. And I agree with all it stands out in the crowed of youth. Good job.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2004   Writer
Thanks so much! I am glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconcyanidepoisoning:
CyanidePoisoning Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004
Thanks for the comment. This is a wonderful poem. I love the imagery of lots of children crowded around on a stage of sorts. It's so great. Very well done.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004   Writer
Thanks for your comment! Very appricheated!
Reply
:iconsavingmysanity:
savingmysanity Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004  Hobbyist Photographer
Wow, Pretty funny I'll probably start all my comments on your work with WOW your work is so deep and well put.

this reached out to me in ways you cant even imagine It's like wow I know exactly what your sayin. Me I'm one of those Fallen ones you speak of I'm still waiting to be pulled back up whether it be on my own or with assistance. It's a shame so many fall and never make anything of themselves It's really sad.

THis is a really really excellent poem I + faved it
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004   Writer
Thanks for the fav! I am really glad you liked it
Reply
:iconantitrustalone224:
Antitrustalone224 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004   Writer
Wow you are a true poet. I have to bow down, That doesnt come easy by me. That piece was excellent.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004   Writer
Thanks so much! You are talented my friend, so your comments mean much to me
Reply
:iconantitrustalone224:
Antitrustalone224 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004   Writer
Well I give respect to some people that are great I bow down to them. That is my highest form of respect and admiration. You are definently great.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004   Writer
wow
Reply
:iconantitrustalone224:
Antitrustalone224 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004   Writer
Yeah I really get into my responces at times sorry bout that.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004   Writer
LoL
thats okay, me too
Reply
:iconantitrustalone224:
Antitrustalone224 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2004   Writer
I dont know It's a weird thing. Some times my poetry shines through in my responses.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2004   Writer
I know that feeling...
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icongothicamethyst:
GothicAmethyst Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004  Professional Photographer
People wonder why I dont do any kind of drugs. Such a waste of mind. Good job.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004   Writer
Thanks or your comment. I am glad you have taken the time out of your life, to view a part of mine
Reply
:icongothicamethyst:
GothicAmethyst Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2004  Professional Photographer
No problem. You did the same for me. Just returning the favor ;)
Reply
:iconholyspiritwithin:
HolySpiritWithin Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2004   Writer
really interesting idea. Made me a little mad for a reason. I really liked the last section, well put.
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2004   Writer
Mad? I am glad my words can create such strong emotions in you!
Reply
:iconjphnx22:
jphnx22 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2004
how imaginative, very well done!
Reply
:iconairmega23:
airmega23 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2004   Writer
Thanks for the comment!
Reply
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January 31, 2004
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